Sweet Valentine

T-Bone - bass, guitar, vox; Funkdaddy - keys, vox; Pirate - drums; Lou - lead vox

When I cast my mind back on my eighth grade dance
The hell romance it was, everything seemed to turn out fine
Back then I nearly pissed myself for my sweet valentine
But it was someone else who pulled the wool up from my eyes

It was the ass-side end of '88, my patience trained on getting May
The cheerlead-blonde from honors ed, who's mug I cut
From fifth grade shots of Outdoor Ed

All he could do for eighteen weeks was
run away from new hormones
Testosterone and popping bone
In his awkward fitting, acid wash blue jeans
Going after the dancing queen covered in slime
Writing down pathetic rhymes to give to Jenny May
His sweet valentine

He'll ask her now before the clock strikes six
And all will end, the ball and face in front of all his friends
As cool as Howard Jones or Crowded House could be
And all he ever wanted was a...

Sweet Valentine...

Hair spray itchin', sweater shiftin'
all around his skeletal physic
His knees are weak, but if she says yes
He'll have passed his social litmus test

Clammy hands and mismatched feet,
He hugged the rim during White Lines, Baby
'Til Lady in Red made him turn bright red
So he went up to Jen who said
"I'd rather be dead"

With his sleeve we wiped the snot from off his nose
His flaccid hose and bad-ass prose
Coming to a bitter end, without a friend
A place where all his lovers are pretend
Where does it go from here

"David, help me before the week starts up again.
I'm not a gigolo, and California girls will only break my heart again."

From across the room, the cliques, the fads
Macy crossed the floor, broke social bands
And asked our little boy to dance
The valentine romance he needed then
And high school wasn't a desolate void of pain
And red rain came to wash stigma away
And the two birds swayed to Take My Breath Away

CHORUS

Would you be my valentine, valentine