Chained to the Tang

T-bone - guitars, vox; Funkdaddy - bass, percussion, vox; Pirate - drums; Lou - vox; Dick-master instructor

Straight boys, gay girls and bi-sexuals
When you move to making love as a work of art
There are some tricks you're gonna have to master
It ain't about faster, faster, faster, blast her
Do unto others, brother
Listen to your mother
There's a game you're going to have to play
When you're...

Chained to the tang in the pumpkin patch
Getting' some snatch (X4)

A gentle kiss on the lips
Don't work no tricks
Just glide your mouth muscle down her gentle frame
You can detour to the right nipple
But keep it tight
Slobbering over breasts, you'll fail the god damn test
And down, down, over her silky body
Right down to her...

There's a trick to the lick 'cause ya gotta find
The pink little bit

Now boys, when you get down there
Don't just start chomping away like a junkyard
Dog chewing on and old leather shoe
There are some moves that will behoove
Love puppets home
You've got to please her, tease her...
You've got to please her, tease her...
Just treat her right

Please ya, tease ya, treat ya right (X4)
Well, I'm a tongue-teasing lover
Sucking cunt like a hooker in drag (X4)

Speed ain't a need 'til ya reach the point
That she needs to scream...
'Til ya wanna make her scream...
Please ya, tease ya, treat ya right...
I'll leave ya shakin' at first light.